listen to episode 66!
in this episode, we are exploring whether or not feeling cool or feeling corny matters in the grand scheme of life!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you livin’ today?
how you feelin’ today?
are you ready, today, to take some action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or who have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however small, large, or however you wanna categorize it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
when will you realize how powerful you are?
you hold the power of choice, fam.
you can decide now to one thing over the other + you can make that decision without consulting anyone.
i know sometimes this is foreign news to people, but you don’t have to consult anyone.
your mama + dem ain’t gotta agree with you.
you don’t have to get validation from others to make a move.
you have the power change your current perspective.
you even have the power to move mountains if that’s the choice you want to make.
if that’s the decision you’ve made + have resolved in your mind to uphold, who is to say you cannot?
when will you decide to use your power?
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today one step at a time.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
speaking of steps, let’s talk about today’s action step:
- this is a suggestion.
- this is encouragement.
- this is not a requirement.
i am putting this out here so that you can hear it + be inspired to do something that is pressing on your heart today.
to do this week:
today’s action is to give yourself permission to show up in the dopest way possible.
doing dope things in life isn’t hard if you allow yourself to be dope.
you have to allow yourself the space to be.
it’s not hard to be joyful if you give yourself space to experience joy.
it’s not hard to be peaceful when you give yourself space to experience peace.
it’s not hard to be the person you’ve always wanted to be when you give yourself space to be that person.
today, give yourself permission to show up in the dopest way possible.
if you feel cool while doing it, keep going.
if you feel corny while doing it, who cares? 😂 you’re still doing it.
when you think about it, it’s really doesn’t matter what you feel about what you’re doing while you’re doing it — you’re still doing it!
but if you feel challenged in a way where it doesn’t feel authentic to you — when it starts feeling weird, like it doesn’t really align with who you are — then take some time to step back to question:
- what am I doing here?
- does this align with who I say I am?
- does this align with my purpose?
- does this align with who I am at my core?
- does this align with the vision I have for my life?
- does this align with what I’m about?
- why am I doing this?
your feelings about yourself aren’t facts, they are simply providing feedback about where your mindset is in this moment.
attaching to yourself to the feelings that are fleeting is doing yourself a disservice because you start believing the feelings are real when the feelings are nothing but an indication of your alignment in this moment.
when you know who you are + how you want to show up, there isn’t a belief or a projection in this world that can sway your decision to be exactly who you are + to show up as that person.
there’s no force out there that can change your mind about who you are until you decide to change your mind about who you are.
you are the force to be reckoned with, so you’ve gotta understand how powerful your mind is.
right when you decide different your reality starts to shift.
when you decide different for yourself, that’s when your reality follows suit.
it starts in your mind.
over the course of the week, continue improving your self-image by remembering who you are deep down inside at your core.
what will happen if people don’t like this version of you, you ask?
shit — what if they do?
better yet: what will happen when you don’t care whether or not they like it or not?
there’s a part of us that likes to boast that we don’t care —
we do care + it’s okay to acknowledge that you care when you do.
will you allow that care + concern to distort the image that you have about yourself?
will you allow that care + concern to affect who you are?
when you stop worrying about what people think about you, i can tell you what will happen —
you will freely be whoever you are.
you won’t worry about reciprocity because you aren’t doing it for praise or accolades.
because people are gonna praise you + people are gonna come for you — it happens!
one side of the coin is no better than the other.
if you are affected by the praise, you will be affected by the criticism.
so decide + resolve now regardless of what people say, you’re still gonna do you because that’s who you are at your core.
you won’t worry about visibility because you know who you are + why you’re doing what you’re doing.
you don’t have to see what i’m doing for me to know that it’s being done.
my brother is a great example of this.
he was awarded volunteer of the year for his organization + it took someone else showering him with praise for me to even know that he was awarded this accolade. when I spoke with him about it, he said, “sis, I don’t see it as a praise report. yea, I did what I did but I did it because I care. I don’t need the recognition, I simply did it because I care.”
it shifted my perspective + prompted me to ask myself, “what am I doing that I care about so much that it doesn’t even matter what other people say about it?“
producing this podcast is one of those cares.
I love doing this + whether or not I get the praise or the accolades matters not. I do this because I care + because I want to do it. I’ve been given something to say, something to share with the world, + I’d be remiss if I didn’t put it out there.
do it — whatever it may be — because you care, fam.
you won’t worry about validation because regardless if people get down with you or not, you’re still going to be one dope ass person.
so, you’re gonna do it regardless.
perhaps, it would be nice to get the validation, but it is not required.
think:
I do it because I care. I do it because it’s in my heart. I do it because I feel compelled. there’s something inside that is saying, “hey, do this!” + I’m obedient to that feeling + what happens, happens.
that’s a “them” problem + maybe a “you” problem, too
people may feel uncomfortable with you exploring new versions of yourself.
you may hear:
- “who do you think you are?”
- “remember when you used to…”
- “i want the old you back”
people may weaponize your past actions against you, they may call you out for your changed behavior, + they may feel you aren’t qualified to show up as this version of yourself.
hell, you may do the same —
“i want the old me back”
that person that I used to know, that’s who I want to be again
“remember when i used to…”
you’re living in the past + thinking about your past experiences. you can’t get them out of your mind because in this moment you feel your past is way better than your present.
“who do i think i am?”
you may not say it verbatim, but you think about it. you start doubting yourself + worrying about what others think about you. you start questioning whether or not you are qualified.
who do you desire to be right now, fam?
because no matter how much you desire to be that same person from before, you are different now.
knowingly + unknowingly, your life experiences have shaped you into a different person.
that can be a lot to accept when you are constantly doubting who you are + your ability to live the dopest life possible at any given moment.
birthing a moment
we sometimes see our current circumstances + situations + we think “I can’t get through this, I need to take a step back. I can’t go forward” + attempt to go backward not knowing that we are inflicting unnecessary pain on ourselves.
I remember when I gave birth to my second child + having the urge to push. in that moment, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around pushing. I wanted more time to process it so I told the midwife, “give me two seconds!” now what that two seconds was gonna do, I don’t know! but those two seconds of me disobeying my body + not giving way to the moment, not accepting that this baby was coming out, was causing me real pain. once I gave into the moment + accepted that this baby was coming, my body did the work it needed to do to complete the task. I didn’t even have to tell my mind to do it, I only needed to accept the moment. my midwife wrote down in the notes that I said I needed “two more seconds” + it’s something we laughed at because what? but yes, accepting the moment is less painful than wishing it away. I am grateful that I was able to have a beautiful, joyful, + peaceful birth experience.
it’s a lesson that your mind may need some catch up time. sometimes your mind isn’t exactly in the place to accept your current reality + circumstances of acknowledging where you are now. it may take some time to get to that place, but it’s a freeing place.
your mind may play a trick on you by not being ready, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t qualified or ready for the moment. the opportunity is there because you are qualified — are you willing to accept the opportunity?
until you start rolling with the punches + accepting life for what it truly is — a collection of experiences, these same experiences can definitely have you on your ass + in your feelings.
the circumstances you are facing right now cannot break you unless you allow them to.
the situation you are facing right now cannot break you unless you allow it to.
the challenges you are facing right now cannot break you unless you allow them to.
choose what type of experience you want to have.
if your mind is stuck in the pain, you will have a hard time getting through the pain.
you will have a very painful experience if you cannot find resolve on the other side.
is it more painful to surrender to the moment or to hold on to that pain?
take your mind to a place of peace + joy while also accepting what is happening right now.
do you want to have fun while you’re getting through this tough time? you can do that.
do you want to experience joy today? you can choose it.
do you want to experience peace today? you can have that.
what do you want to experience right now?
focus on cultivating that.
my final thoughts:
challenges are a part of life.
the challenges will be there, the obstacles will remain on your path — so what?
some things are just not going to chance, but one thing you can change is your mindset.
by allowing yourself to bask in your dopeness, you will obliterate every last obstacle in your way.
it’s not that you have some super strength to beat up on the challenges, the mindset of them not being important is more powerful than any physical strength you possess.
who cares about the circumstance or situation or challenge? none of that matters!
what matters is that you know who you are + that’s your capable of obliterating anything that comes your way.
you will become stronger, more confident, + doper by the moment because you know who you are.
you won’t allow anything keep you from showing up + showing out because you know who you are!
allow yourself the space to experience life the way you’ve always wanted to experience it.
give yourself a chance to experience the dopest life possible!
you are qualified as you are + where you are right now.
you can do this.
this is up to you.
no one has to give you consent or deal you rubbish hand.
you can play the cards of life how you wanna play them —
have fun with it! make a show out of it + do life in a different way!
imagine how dope life can be when you step out of your way + onto your path.
today, do just that: step out of your way + onto your path.
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additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today + for being present.
thank you for deciding to listen, to learn, + to implement.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
cop dope merch: deardopechick.com