welcome to episode 39!
in this episode, we are changing the conversations we are having with ourselves + others about how life truly is!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
are you ready to take action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one small step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
your future starts today.
you’ve gotta have a one-on-one with yourself + ask the real question:
do my actions reflect what i want to experience?
whatever you choose to do today is setting you up for your future, that’s why it’s important that you live now in the present.
the only time to take action is now.
the only time to make decisions now.
the only time to start believing that you can + acting on those beliefs is now.
while i highly encourage you to take action today, i understand that decision isn’t up to me.
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
to do this week:
let’s talk about somethin’ else…
life isn’t shaped by the circumstances + situations we face, it’s shaped around the conversations we have about the circumstances + situations we face.
today’s action is to change the conversation.
we have the power to do what many will call supernatural.
our words, when spoken, can move mountains, can touch + change hearts, + have the power to create life.
does your current conversation reflect + showcase that power?
is your conversation from a place of power + passion?
is it from a space of lack + scarcity?
is it from a place of abundance, speaking life, + believing that there’s so much out there for you?
is it from a place of fear?
is it from a place of love?
over the course of the week, monitor what you say by intentionally choosing your words.
yes, that means we are thinking before we speak.
instead of heavily relying on the phrase “i didn’t mean to say that“, use the words that you mean.
if that means silently sitting until the right words arise, do that.
the challenge is to speak on:
- what promotes love
- what triggers deep conversation + consideration
- what prompts thoughtful action
- what moves your heart + guides your spirit
- what is helpful, productive, + constructive
what does that look like?
imagine a world where we only contributed to the conversation after we’ve intently listened to what the other person had to say.
to take that visual a step further, imagine that before responding, we sit with what was said + our response offers up words of compassion, words of empathy, + words of encouragement.
what visual are you catching of yourself + what does that conversation sound like?
what role do you play in that visual?
imagine having a conversation about what riles up your passion; what speaks to your heart + what moves your spirit.
what does that conversation sound like?
imagine navigating a situation + instead of pointing out what you don’t like about what you’re going through, you speak about your challenges in a positive, constructive way.
what does that conversation sound like?
you hold the power to change the course of your conversation at any time you’d like.
no longer do you have to complain about who wronged you,
how life is such a drab,
how nothing is working out for you,
how life is unfair —
for your highest good
there’s not one thing in this world that isn’t working for your highest good —
yes, even the people who you feel have wronged you.
other people’s actions, including their reactions, are beyond your control.
how others treat you is a direct reflection of how they view themselves.
we can’t control what they do, what they think, or how they act.
focus on what you can control + what you can control are your actions.
everything you experience is part of the lesson, fam.
life is constantly teaching you more + more about yourself + pointing out what you need to work on —
the person cutting you off in traffic is, in fact, not a dick.
let’s talk about how they are teaching us about ourselves:
- they are showing us just how much we’re using our patience.
- they are also showing us how reckless our mouths are in times of chaos, how off-centered we become in the face of adversity — you know, when situations are not going “our way”.
- they are showing you how quickly you rush to judgement — how do you know their “why”? does their “why” even matter in order to forgive the offense + let it go?
- they are teaching you how observant you are. aren’t you glad you were paying attention to the road? that observation sure did keep you safe on these streets!
+ just like that, you finessed the hell out of situation, not only by shifting your mindset + attitude, but by changing the conversation you were having with yourself about that situation.
now you’ve taken a stance of gratefulness — I’m grateful for my quick reflexes, I am grateful for being safe, I’m grateful for my attentiveness —
the art of finessing is nothing more than a conversation shift.
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
is it good or bad?
turning what you consider shit into gold is an innate skill that you can most certainly hone into the greatest flex ever.
the catch is you have to use it.
is it good or is it bad?
that part doesn’t matter in order for life to work in your favor.
we have to think about why we label, judge, + compartmentalize.
when something means more to us than another, we feel better about how we handle it.
it’s a way we justify our actions, a way we control the narrative we’re sharing with the world.
a bug’s life
for example, let’s discuss how we treat our family vs. how we treat a fly.
many of us kill flies + in turn, will make an excuse for killing the fly:
“oh it’s just a fly + it was buzzing around + annoying me + everyone else…”
is that justification for killing it, though?
“but it’s just a fly! it’s a bug!”
but does that matter?
when your family gets on your nerves, what do you do?
do you swat at them? mm.
do you hit them + want to seriously inflict harm? mm…
i mean, some of us do, but i digress.
this example wasn’t designed to compare a human life to a bug’s life, cause they can’t possibly be on the same playing field, can they?
i’m just talking… or am i?
it’s something worth considering.
i say all of that to say this:
what does the conversation sound like when we approach life:
- without the judgements,
- without the labels of good + bad,
- without the expectations that it has to not only appear a certain way, but actually be that way in order for us to accept it
what does the conversation sound like we when decide that no matter what happens, no matter the situation, + no matter the circumstances, that we are okay?
- that we are still safe,
- we are still worthy,
- we are still open to possibilities,
- we still see the opportunities,
- we are still sowing seeds of love,
- that we are still standing…
how does that conversation sound?
life is already handing you enough to consider without you adding your labels, your judgement, + your harsh critics.
what are you telling yourself about life?
- what’s the conversation you’re having with yourself + others about how life truly is?
- how can you shift the conversation to reflect how life is always working for you?
- how life is working with you?
- how the circumstances are here to elevate you, to uplift you, + take you to that next level?
what say you?
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i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for being here today.
thank you for showing up, for showing out, for taking action + for listening.
thank you for considering, for implementing, + for digging deeper
thank you for using your brain today, for listening to your heart, + for shifting your perspective.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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