come enjoy episode 4!
in this week’s episode, we are shedding labels + redefining ourselves for ourselves.
take a listen:
want show notes + ad free listening for the podcast episode?
below are ad-free listening + the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back! 👋🏾
how are you livin’, how you feelin’ today?
i’m so glad you’re here!
are we ready to take action today?!
what you’ll need:
if you are new here, i want to put you up on game:
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every episode you are challenged to take one small step that aligns with living life on your own terms, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
you are free to listen to this podcast straight through + do absolutely nothing, that’s your right + your choice. i promise you i won’t force or attempt to coerce you into taking action.
however, if you are ready to do something different in your life, to make a change + actively change the course of your life — this is for you.
i encourage you to take some type of action today!
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction you want to go. change isn’t about inadequacies, it’s about embracing + accepting how dope you are now while deciding your next move.
grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed.
have you heard last week’s episode?
this episode will build upon last episode so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard last week’s episode, take a listen so that you can better understand the purpose behind this week’s action steps.
you can listen to it here.
okay — it’s time we discussed this!
i’ve gotta get this out of my system, sis.
*in my best Erykah Badu voice* i’ve been having this on my mind for a long time!
let’s to dive into discussing the act of constantly wanting to fix ourselves.
what’s wrong with you?
if you let social media tell it, we are all damaged.
according to online experts, apparently trauma is at an all time high.
when you’re constantly being fed that narrative every single day, you may start thinking that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
i want you to sit with that for a second + ask yourself:
- is there something fundamentally wrong with me?
- why am i always trying to change myself?
- what is it that i’m seeking that doesn’t align with who I am today in this moment?
- what/whose ideals + standards are you chasing?
realize you are not broken.
you are not broken + there is no part of you that needs fixing.
you are who you are + you are who you are for your reasons.
so instead of coming to your life with a victim mentality or thinking that something is wrong with you, let’s talk about what you like about yourself:
- what do you like about yourself?
- do you have to reconfigure everything in your life to fit an ideal or certain narrative? why?
- by whose standards are you measuring your life?
- whose approval are you seeking?
- why does one have to be right + the other have to be wrong? why can’t duality exist?
all things are working together for your good.
you are where you are now because this is exactly where you need to be.
that quote may cause one to cringe —
“how dare you say i deserve to suffer? how could you believe that me experiencing these troubling circumstances is working out for me?”
this isn’t some form of toxic positivity.
i’m not asking you to never experience your emotions, to stay the same or in toxic cycles, or to embrace the struggle. nah.
this is to challenge you to see beyond your present reality — beyond your struggles, beyond your emotions, + to break free from the hamster wheel thinking.
you keep going ‘round + ‘round with yourself with this “need for improvement” mantra, keeping yourself unnecessarily busy.
this fake ass busyness directly conflicts with the stillness you need to ground you into this moment, to know that this moment is okay.
life is happening for you + wants you to enjoy it right now — not when you become, not later on — enjoy it while you are here.
give yourself a break!
cut yourself some slack!
find peace in being still, in being calm, + in being you.
challenge yourself to be still + live in this moment. you are enough.
accept yourself for who you are in this moment.
your reality is made up.
it’s constructed of narratives you’ve told yourself + that others have told you all these years about who you are + how the world around you operates.
we believe + have internalized these things to create a reality for ourselves.
everyone has a different reality.
we all see life through a different lens + that’s based off of what we are constantly telling ourselves, our lived experiences, + what other people are feeding to us.
none of what you see is true.
it’s all an illusion that you’re embracing because you’re having trouble seeing beyond all the limitations, expectations + agreements that you + others have placed on your life.
you’re not the labels you carry —
- your gender
- your race + ethnicity
- your occupation
- your high school superlative
- your past behaviors, etc.
think about + write down all of the labels you + others have placed on you. then, ask yourself the following questions:
- what do they mean?
- do you identify with them?
- are any of them true to you now? if so, which ones + why?
let’s think about this:
having issues with sobriety in the past doesn’t make you an alcoholic or drug abuser now.
yes, the experience may have shaped you into the person you are today; however, you are not defined by your past behaviors.
you are way more than who others + most importantly you think you are, sis.
so tell me —
- what makes you, you?
- what makes you tick?
- what your “thing”?
- what makes you who you are at your core?
- what do you like about yourself?
to do this week:
today, write down 5 things that you like about yourself.
by the end of this week, write down 20 things you like about yourself.
but wait: there’s more!
not me sounding like an infomercial 😅
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
can we do this for at least 21 days straight?
i am + i hope that you will join me.
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affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you so much for being here + most importantly: thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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