thanks for tuning into episode 16!
in this episode, we are failing at life to win at life.
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
[mepr-show rules=”1391″ unauth=”message”]
dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
thank you for being here today, thank you for showing up!
i really appreciate it!
are you ready to take action today? are you up for the challenge?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here or haven’t been here in quite a while —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every episode you are challenged, encouraged, + inspired to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you are taking one small step today that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
do I have to take some action?
of course you do not!
choosing what you will + will not do is what living life on your own terms is all about — it’s the freedom of choice! you can do exactly what you would like to do on your time.
however, i’m gonna encourage you to do something today that gets you going, that gets you moving in the forward direction, that puts you in the position of being the person you say you are or wanna be!
i do believe that taking steps, however great or small, puts you in the position of taking charge over your life. you are no longer the victim, you are the victor.
you are taking matters into your own hands + proclaiming, through your actions, “this is how i choose to live my life”.
you are making decisions that not only serve you, but have others in mind, too.
well all benefit from you showing up as your best.
so i encourage you to keep showing up as your best + keep choosing what’s aligns with you living your best life on your own terms!
you ’bout that life?
when you’re ready to change your life for yourself, to take charge of your life + live it to the fullest; to experience the richness, + to see your perceived failures become successes, go ‘head + take that step today!
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that today.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
nah, not doing that again!
in an email I shared with our ‘a daily dose of dope community’ this week, I mentioned how failure itself is a shit starter.
i got some good responses from this email + wanted to share with you today how failure is indeed a shit starter.
the last time you failed at something, you knew in that moment you didn’t EVER want to do whatever you did that particular way again, especially if it made you feel extremely disappointed.
no way, nah.
not, nope.
ain’t doing that again.
the experience may have been trying out a new recipe for your family that ended up being awfully disgusting or even speaking in public or taking a jab at public speaking — anything really.
it one bad experience, something we deem as failing, that can put a bad taste in our mouths + make us want to wash our hands of the whole situation.
sometimes we don’t want to revisit it because of how bad, or how disappointed it made us feel.
feelings aren’t facts!
i want to remind you that feelings are not facts + are fleeting.
you can change how you want to feel at any time.
now, this doesn’t mean to ignore the feelings you have + also understand that you hold the power to change how you want to feel.
don’t allow your feelings to stop you from doing what you want to do.
introducing failure: the shit starter
you’re probably wondering, “okay, so you’re telling me that I don’t want to do an activity anymore to keep from experience a discouraging feeling again — what exactly does that have to do with failure starting shit?”
you not wanting to do that activity isn’t exactly starting shit, but i’m not done:
how failure starts shit is by putting you up on game.
it is an information super highway.
now you know.
now you know what doesn’t work.
now you can decide how you’d like to use that newly acquired information.
now you can choose what you’ll do next.
failure is the start of something new, the something fresh!
failure provides a new perspective, new outlook, + new direction.
it gives you an advantage that you may have otherwise never stumbled across + you know what stumbling indicates? motion! it means you’re moving, sis.
because you took some action + didn’t get exactly what you wanted or expected from the experience, you now can do something different.
through failure, you have the opportunity to course correct + decide what you will do moving forward.
to do this week:
if at first you don’t succeed…
today’s action is to fail.
i’m in no way wishing failure upon your life or anything of that sort, but at the same time i am. 😝
i do believe that you failing today will put you in a position to really get out there + go for what the fuck you want you go for.
when you see that this current lifestyle isn’t working for you, that it’s not in alignment with who you say you are, you failing at it can be the kick in the ass you need to do something different with your time + efforts.
how will you fail today?
i don’t know what failure will look like for you today. failure can manifest itself in many different ways:
- failed recipes
- failed relationships
- failure to communicate
- failure to achieve your desired outcome
+ it really may not be failing, but rather it’s how we process our own perceptions of what is happening around us.
be a baby
failure + success go hand in hand.
you fail before you succeed, right? take for example a baby:
a baby doesn’t come out the womb walking + dapping people up.
a baby rolls, then crawls, then cruises, then walks, all of which will have some failed attempts but will not stop the baby from learning + mastering the skills necessary to walk.
it takes steps, but it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get to the goal you set out to accomplish.
be the baby + be open + willing to learn.
over the course of the week, let’s reset our mindset around the word “failure”
failure is not terrible, horrible, or a bad thing to experience.
life isn’t good or bad, it just is.
there is nothing inherently wrong with failing.
it’s the conditions we’ve put on failure that makes it appear as if it’s wrong.
failure is exactly what you need in order to make living life on your own terms happen for you.
in order to tweak your lifestyle to align with exactly what you want, you’re going to have to fail.
my question to you is this: how the hell do you succeed without failing?
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
how do you even know what that success feels like if you aren’t failing along the way?
failure is the first step to success because then you can figure out exactly the direction you where you want to go.
and you still may be tweaking it along the way + you know it’s not where you’ve just been.
now don’t get it twisted, that pathway may be the pathway + may take some revisiting when the time is right.
but you’ve been through that experience before, you see you aren’t ready + that you may need more:
- knowledge
- skills
- connections
the information is there + it’s telling you something.
will you use the information to better serve you in your life so that you can start making the decisions that are best for you moving forward?
go out + get some shit started today.
you want what you want + you are in the process of finding your way to where it resides.
it’s not like you’re going in, putting in all of this work, hoping to fail…
yes the hell you are!
this is exactly what you’re doing!!
you’re going after what you want + getting the most out of your experiences because you have the attitude that failure is an option.
thought process sounds something like:
i’m not ruling failure off the table, but i won’t know what works until i do it. so, i don’t give a damn if I’m failing or not. i don’t give a damn what other people think.
because that’s really what is about, right?
we don’t want others to see us as imperfect beings + that’s one of the reasons why we are afraid to fail.
we are imperfect beings + are perfectly made to figure life out.
in a systematic way, we about living life by way of trial + error, figuring out what works + what doesn’t work, + then implementing that information so that we can continue to thrive.
in order to get the success that you want you are going to fail.
when we stop associating failure with something being messed up, we can celebrate it as the shit starter it is.
there’s no safety in avoiding failure.
the ebbs + flows are all a part of the process.
get up + start start some shit today — you can do this!
[/mepr-show]
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today, for taking the time to listen, to learn + to actively engage in this podcast by doing work.
i wanna thank you for investing in yourself today + most importantly, thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
cop dope merch: deardopechick.com