thanks for tuning into episode 12!
in this episode, we are implementing the practice of minding our own business.
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
thank you for being here today, thank you for showing up!
are you ready to take action today? are you up for the challenge?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every episode you are challenged, encouraged, + inspired to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
you are taking one small step today that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
do you have to take action today?
do you have to take action today? no, you do not.
the beauty of living life on your own terms is choosing what you will + will not do.
you get to decide how you want to do life.
now, for those of who are ready to take action, for those of you who are ready to do something new, for those of you who are ready for different:
this one is for you.
i encourage you to continue listening to this episode so you can figure out what’s the best course of action for you today.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
sex, money, + residence: what’s the commonality?
what does a random person’s sex life, a random person’s household income, + a random person’s living situation all have in common?
whether it’s random people that you know or random strangers, they all have something in common… can you tell me what it is?
a random person’s sex life, a random person’s household income, + a random person’s living situation are all none of your business.
we’re freakin’ obsessed!
as a society, why are we so obsessed with other people’s lives?
from gossip sites + tabloids to our obsession with celebrities, influencers, + random strangers, we concern ourselves too much with the lifestyle choices of others.
save yourself mental bandwidth + disengage from other people’s show.
turn the channel + no longer subscribe to how people decide to live their lives.
allow them the freedom to make the choices they feel are best for their lives.
I always start the podcast by offering up the choice to take some action today.
you don’t have to do shit you don’t want to do, fam.
if you don’t wanna do anything with this podcast you don’t have to.
i know that you are smart enough to make the best decisions for yourself.
that doesn’t mean you are doing what i want you to do or what whomever else wants for your life.
you are doing what is best for you. i trust you.
do we trust others to also do the same?
listen: we gone have to agree to disagree
we may not agree with what everyone chooses to do with their lives largely because it doesn’t look + feel familiar to us. we are creatures of habit in constant search of familiarity, of comfortability, + of connection.
wanting to control how others act, think, + feel isn’t a form connection, though.
it is a form of control.
why do we want to control others?
you will not agree with what with what everybody does
you don’t even agree with everything you do. those are called mistakes. we all make them.
even still, when we don’t agree with what folks have going on, we can agree to disagree.
we can respect where they are coming from, their perspective + position, + their choices still may not be for us.
+ that’s okay!
we can call-in* someone about their behaviors without tearing them down, raising our voices, + without telling them what they should do. unless they ask, we offer no unsolicited advice.
instead, we can ask questions to inspire folks to dig deeper.
we question not to tell them where to go or what they should be doing, rather to inspire them to think deeper about the consequences of their actions.
*used in place of call-out since calling someone out seems combative + confrontational
we are one 🌍
at the end of the day, a random person/stranger ain’t no different than me + we ain’t no different than you.
we all want to feel loved, seen, + supported.
subconsciously, we treat others as an extension + reflection of ourselves.
it’s no wonder why we can be so judgmental, so critical, or on a mission to “fix” them when that’s how we feel about ourselves.
there’s fixing that needs to be done + it’s not on the other person — it’s within us.
when we have a tough time accepting ourselves, perceived flaws + all, it’s no wonder that we treat others in the same regard.
it’s hard to have empathy, grace, + unconditional love for others when don’t extend that to ourselves.
give yourself grace + space to make mistakes, sis.
when i see you, i see myself.
we are a mirror, so what we do we get back.
we protect our right to choose by allowing others to exercise their right to choose, even when we don’t like their choices.
it can’t be one-sided, here, fam.
this requires constant collaborative + collective effort to give ourselves + others space live our lives on our own terms.
to do this week:
hello, i’m Switzerland Bennett.
today’s action is to commit to minding your own damn business.
as tempting as it may be to read an article about someone, to leave that unsolicited comment, or to engage in that conversation about someone other than yourself, don’t.
make a conscious, mindful + intentional decision to refrain from the bullshit.
this means more of this:
- withholding judgment + criticisms
- accepting people for who they are + not for who we want them to be
- not seeing others as improvement projects (they are not broken)
minding your own business looks like taking responsibility for you.
understand that your choices are you own + that no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.
- you don’t have to go to work today.
- you don’t have to look at your their social media posts or engage with their content.
- you don’t have to comment on their body shape or size.
- you don’t have to worry about how they spend their money.
these are all your choices to make + you have the right to choose how you will spend the moments of your day + what you will engage in.
keep in mind, you also have to deal with consequences of whatever you choose.
you not wanting to deal with certain consequences is justification enough for you choosing what you’ll do, no need to over-explain or justify why.
your choices are your choices.
btw, Switzerland is neutral territory + my name is Bennett + i’m not in — in other words: it ain’t my business
over the course of the week, continue monitoring your ability to mind your own business.
you can totally do this!
question yourself when you feel yourself getting “judgy”.
ask yourself:
- Why do I feel the need to comment on or want to fix this?
- Do I know why they are doing what they are doing? Does that change things or my opinion?
- Why do I feel like I need an opinion on this?
- Did I ask them if they need my help? Did they ask for help?
- Do I truly care enough to ask them what’s happening with them?
- Is this my business?
what do you do when the answer is “no” to the last question? you mind yours!
it ain’t easy, but it’s worth it!
minding your own business isn’t easy because we are so used to living an invasive lifestyle.
based on how we were brought up, minding other people’s business can seem innate (i.e. watching the news everyday, hearing others gossip, etc.) + we can find ourselves so concerned about what others have going on.
the more you practice minding your business, the more of an automatic practice it will become in your life + the freer you will feel.
there is so much peace on the other side of people’s drama.
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
hold yourself accountable for your actions.
when something is not your business, leave it be.
treat it like a nature walk — observe your environment without interrupting its natural flow.
when you don’t like what is happening there (i.e. it starts raining), remove yourself from the situation + find a place more peaceful place to explore.
when you find yourself wanting to mind other people’s business, bring it back to a place of freedom + peace.
just like you can’t control the rain, you can’t control other people. you can control how you react to situations + people.
you’re not giving others the freedom to do what they do when you’re tending to their business — that’s you inserting yourself.
let people live + allow yourself to live without all that stress + drama.
find your inner peace + be mindful about how you expend your energy because your energy is precious + what you give you get.
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i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today.
thank you for listening + learning, + most importantly, thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
cop dope merch: deardopechick.com