dive into episode 45 with me!
in this episode, we’re using radical acceptance as a vehicle to move through life as if anything is possible!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
[mepr-show rules=”1391″ unauth=”message”]
dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you feelin‘ today?
how you livin‘ today?
are you ready, today, to take action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however you wanna categorize or label it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
this is your choice.
whether you take that step today is not up to me —
- it’s not up to yo mama,
- it’s not up to your coworkers,
- it’s not up to your spouse or significant other,
- it’s not up to your children,
- it’s not up to your circumstances
it doesn’t matter about any of those things.
what matters is that you have decided to do something + you take an action step towards it.
the desire comes from you.
you are the person who evokes the change in your life.
what do you want to do?
where is your focus today?
what difference do you want to see in your life?
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today.
it takes one step + that one step can happen right now.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
to do this week:
today’s action is to accept that anything is possible.
anything, P?
yes, anything is possible!
life happens.
we’ve lived through some wild times. we have some stories, okay?
we can tell a lot of different things that have gone on this world + what has gone on in our personal lives.
things that are damn near unbelievable have happened to us, to people around us.
we’ve witnessed so much in life!
things we never thought would happen in those moments happened.
it didn’t require predictability for it to take place.
it (life) happened.
you probably didn’t even see the shit coming.
worst case scenarios, best case scenarios, unprecedented scenarios all can describe how life works.
it (life) happens.
sometimes there was a known catalyst, sometimes the catalyst is yet to be found.
+ essentially, none of that matters!
the whole point of taking this action:
accepting that anything is possible gives you the opportunity to absolve yourself of rationale, worry, + headache.
it’s not about how — it’s already happened!
this is a component + premise of radical acceptance.
what is radical acceptance?
radical acceptance is choosing to see things as they are by making a conscious + concerted effort to accept what has transpired + to do so without judgement.
that shit already sounds impossible 😩
how do you look a situation + accepting it without imparting your judgement, without placing your biases on it, without categorizing it with labels?
let me remind you that anything is possible. anything!
so you practicing radical acceptance is also possible.
over the course of the week, continue to employ this radical acceptance by living as though anything is possible.
the first step is accepting —
accept that that part of life has already happened.
it’s done — a done deal.
how you’ve behaved in the past has happened.
what you’ve done is done.
you cannot change that part of your life.
as much as you may regret some of the decisions you’ve made along the way, changing those choices would alter who you are in this moment.
who you are in this moment is essential to your growth + this person is responsible for creating an environment for all of your desires to transpire.
the you in this moment is an absolute necessity + is essential to this process.
this version of you is the a part of the process.
accept that.
that’s the first step.
the continued action is to live as though anything is possible.
that means that you are living your life freely.
you are living life seeing the possibilities + seizing the opportunities.
you are living your life knowing that:
this moment is happening right now but this doesn’t have to always be the moment. i can change my moments. what i’m doing right now is not what i have to continue to do now.
the exact time you realize you are doing something you are out of the moment.
what is no longer being done in the present + is considered the past.
so when you find yourself off track + you’re like:
awh man, i’m so distracted right now!
for a more accurate depiction of what’s happening now, you can flip that + say:
i was distracted + now i’m choosing to focus
because now is where you take the action.
radical acceptance is not a fear based practice.
this requires a faith based attitude —
in practicing radical acceptance, you are living as though everything is working out how it’s suppose to work out.
this strategy, this intentional way of life, can present itself difficult to execute due to our programming throughout the years.
we’ve been programmed to see good + bad, to have an emotional reaction to good + bad, to only accept that good + to push away the bad.
we’ve categorized + labeled everything in our lives as good + bad:
- you have the villain + you have the hero.
- you have hot + you have cold.
- you have happy + you have sad.
see ’bout yoself!
allow your visceral reactions to situations + opportunities to act as feedback as to where the work needs to begin.
where do you need to work + what do you need to work on?
those emotions, those reactions, + those feelings are telling you about where you are right now.
go in with a judgement free lens + see about your emotional reactions — see ‘bout yoself!
just because you’re disappointed doesn’t make whatever you’ve experienced bad.
just because you’re excited doesn’t make whatever you’ve experienced good.
why does that have to be good?
why does that have to be bad?
life is.
your emotions simply are, too.
they aren’t good. they aren’t bad. they are.
how attached are you?
when you have a reaction to someone else’s situation, that is an indication to you of how attached you are to a situation beyond your control.
you can’t control someone dying, nor can you control someone close to you winning the lotto for millions of dollars
it is what it is.
the feedback that you get from these reactions helps you identify your current belief system, it helps you to fully see where you are right now in terms of your thought process, + it gives you an opportunity to stay in that thought pattern or choose different for yourself.
that’s why suppressing our emotions does us a huge disservice because we remain stuck in cycles when we cannot or are unwilling to acknowledge we are even there in the first place.
scenario #1
you hate that a person you consider well off won the lotto because you feel they are undeserving.
well i’ve got news for you —
you thinking someone is undeserving doesn’t negate the fact that they won the lotto.
acknowledge that you’re feeling jealous + use that information as feedback for the work you’ve gotta do to release those feelings.
it’s not bad to feel jealous. it’s a feeling that happens. you can feel jealous + it’s okay to admit that.
you can also work through that emotion to figure out what is that you need in your life, what needs to happen in your life, for you to feel centered again. for you to achieve equilibrium — equanimity.
scenario #2
you’ve been in negotiations with a seller about a house + you put in an offer. they refuse your offer + go with someone else. you call them every name in the book. you talk about how much time you wasted + if they didn’t want to do a deal, they shouldn’t have kept going back + forth with you, entertaining you, etc. — you are clearly upset.
you talking shit doesn’t negate the fact that the house is no longer available to you at this moment.
acknowledge how you feel:
- I feel slighted,
- I feel disappointed,
- I feel sadness,
- I feel inadequate + don’t believe my negotiating skills are up to par
— whatever those feelings are, identify them, feel them + accept that what has happened has happened.
radical acceptances provides us with the clarity we need to move forward, to not stay stuck in outdated patterns + to shift, to move, into an elevated state of being.
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
imagine this scenario:
picture yourself sitting on a bench + someone you’ve never met who doesn’t have all of their teeth, has dirty nails, dirty clothes, smells a little rancid, comes to sit down next to you.
they say hello, hand you $100 + while handing it to you they get up, + walk away.
what is your reaction?
do you accept the gift?
do you hand it back to them?
do you categorize as unbelievable + impossible?
i don’t like to dabble in hypotheticals, so i won’t go too deep into that.
the point is just because we aren’t expecting it, doesn’t mean that it can’t happen.
miracles happen every day.
impossible becomes possible every day.
so when it does happen, what do we do to move forward from that moment?
acceptance provides a key piece to life’s puzzle: progression.
when we can accept that something is what it is, we can detach from it + find a way to move on.
detaching doesn’t mean not going through the process of feeling our feelings + dealing with our biases, detachment in this sense means allowing yourself to let go of what doesn’t serve you, what doesn’t elevate you, what doesn’t promote living in the moment, what doesn’t promote growth + what doesn’t promote being present in the moment.
you release it into the wild + are open + ready for today, for this moment, for right now.
you don’t have to agree with something to accept it.
they aren’t the same.
agreement means you support it.
ex: you may not support drunk driving, but it happens.
accepting that it happens is the first step to evoking change.
now you can do something about it.
ex: while you don’t agree with drunk driving, you acknowledge it’s presence + see the impact it’s making on the community.
what are you doing to do about it?
you don’t have to keep living in the same cycles, you don’t have to remain stuck, you don’t have to keep wishing for change, you don’t have to keep telling that same ole story over + over + over again —
today is a day unlike any day you’ve experienced before because today is the day you can choose different.
today you can accept what has happened because shit it’s done, it’s happened.
that time is spent.
that door is closed.
new doors await you.
you have new possibilities to explore.
there are new experiences to live.
+ most importantly, we have a new outlook to embrace.
before i sign off…
i acknowledge that if you’re having a hard time conceptualizing radical acceptance + seeing how it fits into your life, you are not alone.
we have very real human experiences + getting through them can sometimes present itself challenging.
hard isn’t impossible.
anything is possible, fam.
+ radical acceptance in practice opens up a new realm of possibility to you.
[/mepr-show]
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for show up today, for being here today.
thank you for taking it all in.
thank you for listening,
for learning,
for exploring,
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
cop dope merch: deardopechick.com