listen to episode 63!
in this episode, we are recognizing our imperfections + using them to help us live a rich + full life!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you livin’ today?
how you feelin’ today?
are you ready, today, to take some action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or who have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however small, large, or however you wanna categorize it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
you can do it for yourself today
it can take a little encouragement + this can serve as that, but this may not be what makes you move.
determine what it is that you want to see that is different than what you want to see now.
concentrate your efforts on transformating that part of your life.
it may be something as small as changing your eating habits.
it can be something as big as going to bed at a decent hour + getting the rest that you need.
it can be as huge as forgiving yourself of past transgressions + deciding to move forward.
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today one step at a time.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
speaking of steps, let’s talk about today’s action step:
- this is a suggestion.
- this is encouragement.
- this is not a requirement.
i am putting this out here so that you can hear it + be inspired to do something that is pressing on your heart today.
to do this week:
today’s action is to recognize + capitalize off of your imperfections.
our internal issues have a way of rising to the occasion.
even when we want to keep them buried + hidden out of plain sight, they seemingly find a way to resurface.
anything we’ve got going on in the inside is eventually gonna bubble up + show up outwardly.
unfortunately, it will continue to happen until we finally address them + call them out by name!
until we put a name on it + say “hey you, I’m tired of seeing this resurface. i’m gonna deal with it right here + right now”, it’s gonna keep coming back.
we all have issues that need sorting so that isn’t that much of a big deal.
we make it a big deal by allowing shame to run the show.
we don’t want to be made, to be seen as someone who is doesn’t have it all together or who doesn’t know what to do or doesn’t have the answers.
so instead of acknowledging that something has gone awry or that we don’t know the answers or that we can’t show that perfect face or living up to the expectations that people place on us, we’d like to downplay it or pretend it doesn’t exist.
instead of acknowledging we need help or need assistance, we’d rather downplay it.
why would I show you my tears? why would I show you i’m struggling?
that’s not the way this works, fam. 🤦🏾♀️
the work begins now
today, recognize + capitalize off of your imperfections.
first, acknowledge that you, like others, have shit to work on in your life.
maybe you aren’t as forgiving as can you be,
maybe you’re impatient,
maybe you have a hard time seeing the possibilities in high stressed situations
or
maybe you place a lot of emphasis + judgement on what others think, say, + do.
throwing stones from a glass house isn’t ideal, so focus on yo shit first.
the funny thing about glass houses is we have the ability to see inside, that means we see your shit, our shit — everyone’s shit is exposed!
you ain’t got your shit together either!
your shit is dirty + needs some work, too.
so, what are you doing to make sure you’ve got your shit together?
we don’t have to present ourselves as perfect people (because they don’t exist), but why present yourself as a perfect person + dare to out someone else?
why not see us all as people who have something to work on + giving each other the space + grace to work on it?
again, we all have something in our own lives that needs our attention + likely it’s a “I need to work on this…” thing rather than a “they need to work on…” thing. 🤷🏾♀️
yes, even when others have things to work on, guess what?
you do, too.
so focus your efforts on doing that.
second, once you understand what needs your attention, see the epiphany it as a win-win!
not only have you identified an area of focus,
an area where you can divert your attention to + build strength of character,
but now you also can put into play everything you’ve learned about yourself so far.
put your problem solving skills to good use.
you are creative, how do you think you got this far without some form of creativity?
use what you’ve learned over the course of your life to help you navigate yourself through your current situation + your current circumstances.
over the course of the week, continue to decode your patterns + demonstrate your ability to adapt.
it’s evident that when you’re hungry, you get very short with others until that need is met: you’re very hangry.
before you proceed with handling others when you’re hungry, meet the need +/or at least let them know what’s going on with you + why.
“I am very hungry right now so my attention is on getting food. can I get food first? does anybody have a snack that I can eat? can I get a drink of water?”
acknowledging that need + fulfill that need so that you can do what you need to do.
it’s clear that repeating yourself triggers something snarky inside of you.
no, it’s not them, either.
+ as much as you may not want to own that — own it.
see the behavior + dig deeper as to why that’s your go-to way of communication.
why don’t you like to repeat yourself? is it because you weren’t allowed to do that earlier on in life? were you met with opposition when you asked questions? are you hungry? 😂
you have to figure out where you are + ask people to meet you there.
it’s okay to ask that. it’s okay to have that ask.
you are a person who has needs + they are people who have needs as well.
when we can communicate with one another + allow one another to see our vulnerabilities + that we all need care, then we can better care for one another.
I might have something that you need + it’s okay to ask for it if you need it. maybe I can see that you need it + then I can offer that to you:
“hey, I see you need xxx + I have it. can I share this with you?”
the challenge is not being put off by someone’s response.
how they respond to the help is on them. they may not want what you have + that’s their choice. they don’t have to take it. that doesn’t mean you have to stop offering what you have.
it’s okay to put yourself out there.
life comes down to making choices — why not make a choice to move forward?
you don’t have to sit + sulk in your shortcomings.
move past them by moving past them.
acknowledge they exist + actively work toward making them a thing of the past.
own yo shit!
this doesn’t mean you won’t be met with a new challenge, its also doesn’t mean that you won’t find yourself making another mistake, this means that you’re committed to living your life on your own terms.
what you decide to do is on you.
you aren’t pawning off your decisions onto anyone else.
you are owning your actions.
you are forgiving yourself + others.
you are showing grace + giving space for growth.
you are showing compassion in high tense situations.
you are offering patience when tensions are running high.
+ ultimately, you are showing how unconditional love can be + that it exists because you aren’t withholding it due to a mess up.
you love yourself through the toughest times + because of that, you can show that love + you can do that for others others when they are going through, too.
my final thoughts:
we all have fallen short
though people may sometimes want to make it this way, it’s never been about who you were.
they may not can totally forgetting what you’ve done or forgiving some of your past transgressions + that’s for them to sort through.
you may need to sort through those things, too.
the past is in the past.
where is the forgiveness? when do we move forward?
they are allowed to have those feelings + hold those grudges.
make your moving forward about you.
moving in spite of your imperfections is about who are you choosing to be today in this moment.
deciding that you want different for your life is deciding that you want to be a different person in this moment.
moving forward despite the mistakes you make is about granting yourself space to explore possibilities, to see life from a different perspective, + to decide whether or not your actions will reflect + incorporate the new information you’ve gathered about yourself + about your situation.
you will never be textbook perfect.
none of us will.
however, we are perfectly imperfect + that’s what makes us who we are.
life isn’t perfect, but you know what it is?
it’s filled with endless beauty, richness, dopeness, + so much possibility!
in the midst of imperfection there is still joy to share, peace to maintain, + love to spread.
you can have one + also have the other.
focus on cultivating more of what you want to see + learn to accept the imperfections of life.
life moves forward when what you want to see outweighs what you want to see less of —
more forgiveness, less finger pointing
more grace, less issuing blame
more discourse + open communication, less judgement + resentment for opposing viewpoints
more acceptance, less conformity
where there is a glimmer of hope — see it, acknowledge it for what it is, + use your talents to turn it into something more.
define life by how you live it today + don’t be afraid to constantly redefine + refine who it is you want to be.
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additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today + for being present.
thank you for deciding to listen, to learn, + to implement.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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