episode 52 — we see you!
in this episode, we are taking the time to consider the consequences of our actions by thinking before we act!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you livin‘ today?
how you feelin‘ today?
are you ready, today, to take action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however small, big, or however you wanna categorize or label it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
you don’t have to do squat.
52 episodes, a whole year, of recording dear dope chick + i can tell you have an option.
there are options, possibilities + opportunities today.
you have the opportunity:
to change your life,
to do different,
to see the possibilities in life, take hold + grab them + work with them.
you also have the option to do nothing — dilly squat, nothing.
that’s your choice, has always been a choice, no one can rob of you that choice.
so, you can decide today to do something different + you can decide today to remain the same.
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today.
I am here as an encourager. I will put the information out there, read up on it, research it more — whatever you like.
ultimately this is all your choice.
your lifestyle depends on your cooperation with yourself.
do you want to do something for yourself today?
this could be it, but it’s all up to you.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
to do this week:
today’s action is to think before you act.
in your lifetime, you’ve likely heard “think before you speak” more than you can count.
as unkind as we can be at times, i believe we all need the reminder to think before we act (speaking is an action).
thinking before you do something is essential to your overall wellbeing, though.
those thoughtless words? we can’t take them back.
those obscene gestures? we can’t take them back.
those decisions that we made when we were angry? we can’t unmake them.
it happens far too often that we put something out there without thought of consequence + are left with the feeling of regret.
as powerless as regret feels, it has a lot of us in a chokehold, even in this moment right now.
well guess what? the power of thinking before you act is that it reduces the chances of regret.
if you are living a regretful state right now + feel that what you have done in your past is horrid or needs reevaluation or you feel you can’t shake, moving forward in this moment you have the chance to reclaim your power.
you have the chance to think.
that is powerful.
thinking before you act + react have power behind them.
all of the things we said, the things we didn’t say, the actions we carried out, + the actions we didn’t carry out when that feeling can be avoided by taking one simple action: thinking before we proceed.
so, what can we think about before saying or doing something we regret?
one thing we can think about are the consequences of our actions.
for every action there is an equal + opposite reaction. that’s the law of physics + yes, universal laws apply to you, too.
this translates to life consequences for us.
good, bad, or indifferent, when we do something it comes back to us in some way, shape, or form.
so first, understanding that there is no good or bad, there only “is” can help us navigate our choices.
when we stop labeling things in life as good or bad + simply see them as what they are, it helps keep regret at bay.
regret thrives off of what could, should, + would have happened.
whether or not it’s “good” or “bad” doesn’t matter, but in most cases we do see it as bearing significance especially when we feel we have made a “bad” or “wrong” decision.
because “good”, “bad”, “right” or “wrong” are so subjective, an objective approach is seeing our decisions as choices.
a choice is a choice + consequences are consequences.
whether or not you like that consequence is up to you, but it doesn’t change the fact that consequences come from actions.
when you’re expecting a certain outcome based off what you did, then you’re sadly mistaken.
thinking about what we do before we proceed doesn’t offer us a guaranteed reaction.
in other words, just because you do something doesn’t mean you will get the reaction you were hoping to receive.
we see it often — people are well-intended + still the impact of their actions do not align with their intentions. their impact is sometimes hurtful + harmful to others even when their intent says otherwise.
so, it is entirely possible that you are doing something from the goodness of your heart + the person who receives what you put out doesn’t receive it in that manner.
thinking before you proceed doesn’t guarantee that the action is favorable; however, it offers us an opportunity to be intentional, to confidently make moves + to be certain of ourselves in the process.
it doesn’t absolve us from the aftermath of the action, what it does promote is the opportunity to be intentional, confident in your decision making, + to be certain about yourself by standing ten toes down in your decision.
at the same time, that same certainty + confidence embraces reflection, learning + growth.
i was certain of myself in moment; however, i’ve learned new information + now, i can apply that information to future actions.
you don’t beat yourself up over decisions that you made.
reflecting back, when you made that decision you were confident in that decision + in yourself.
not because you thought the decision would work out how you wanted it to work out, but because you were confident in yourself + your capabilities to work it out.
so, whatever the reaction to that decision or however it plays it, know that, if necessary, you can pivot from it or stand in it.
that’s what thinking before proceeding does for us.
it’s pointless + non-productive to worry about how someone will react to what you do.
again, you may think you’re doing someone a solid + they may see you as not considering their individuality or their honoring their right to choose (not giving them a choice), or that you think your thought process is better than yours.
approach the situation objectively.
i understand this is easier said than done especially when we want people to like us or to like what we do or to find value + usefulness in what we do, but it’s not necessary for us to work in that capacity.
of course we want people to like us.
we are community based, spiritual beings having a human experience, + there are parts of us that want to feel loved + included, both on a physical + spiritual level.
it’s okay to want to feel included, but it doesn’t mean that because someone disagrees with you you are not a part of the community.
it means we need to reflect a little bit more on what we are doing, how we are doing it, how we feel about what we’re doing, + why we are doing it.
there is criticism everywhere.
people are going to have their own take on what you do in your life. it is up to you to decide whether or not you are certain + confidence about what you have going on + that takes a deep + intimate knowing of yourself.
leading with love
what’s important is that we do our best + that we lead with love.
when we lead with love, we understand that what we are doing isn’t coming from a malicious place, it’s coming from a place of love + thoughtfulness.
we are doing what we’re doing because we feel it is the best action to take in this moment.
when we do our best it doesn’t mean that it’s the best for everyone, it means this is the best of what we can put forth in this moment + we are willing to learn + open ourselves up to more understanding that reveals how our ways + perspectives may differ from other’s ways + perspectives ultimately to find common ground (acceptance).
leading with love means we’ve thought about our actions before taking them so while we can’t control the impact, we can control the intention we put behind what we do.
we may not know how everything will play out, but our intentions are pure + filled with love + care.
you can tell the difference between someone acting out of love + someone acting out of fear.
the energy feels different because the frequency of the vibes differ.
fear vibrates at a lower frequency than love.
that’s why we feel energetically depleted when we act out of fear or receive fear based energy flow because our bodies want to naturally convert it into useable energy.
we use more energy attempting to convert the energy into usable energy that we run out of energy + feel drained, powerless even.
this is why it’s important to sit still every once + a while, + to consciously be aware of + if necessary, actively block off the energies around us.
we can find stillness in:
- meditation
- prayer
- sitting in nature
- taking a slow walk
- listening to encouraging music or mantras
- quiet time
the act of stillness is replenishing + is to be treated as such.
in stillness, you are able to free your mind on a conscious level + can bypass the conversion process of low frequency energy.
it takes little to no effort on your end to be refilled because in those moments, the energetic sources around you are pouring into you. all you have to do is be still.
for example: energy in foods
think about the energetic power of food + how we use it.
calories in food are energy.
calories are measured in joules which is both the energy we consume + exert.
when we feed ourselves high vibrational foods that give us that energy + spunk, that are nourishing to our souls, physical bodies, + spirits.
there’s a different energy we bring to the world when we consume these foods because we’ve given ourselves high energy.
when we consume energy on the lower spectrum that don’t provide much nutritional value (i.e. junk foods), our bodies still want to operate at the higher frequency, but because it’s given such low energy it is unable to convert it into usable energy.
that why we feel tired, sluggish, experience cloudy minds, have a lack of clarity, attention + focus because these foods are not energetic aligned with what our bodies need.
the same thing goes with emotional energy exchange + how thoughtful we are or are not.
thoughtless requires zero energy.
so it comes as no surprise that when we move thoughtlessly, we are powerless within our own lives.
thinking requires energy so if we don’t have to think, we don’t expend the energy + we are rendered powerless.
for example: the flow of energy
think about an air fryer or any other appliance that has to plug into a socket for power.
if that appliance isn’t plugged in or is faulty + that current isn’t flowing properly, it will not receive power or energy to work.
it will not do what it is intended to do for you.
same goes for you —
if you are not acting in a thoughtful manner, you’re not putting out convertible energy + in turn, aren’t getting the energy back.
you’re moving throughout the day + doing things, yes, but are you energetically aligned with what you’re doing?
no energy, no power.
thoughtlessness is an invitation to live like a robot, full of mindless behavior that we cannot justify to anyone as it doesn’t speak to who we actually are.
what are your actions saying about you, fam?
take some time to think about what you’re doing + why you’re doing it.
think about what you are doing now + how, if at all, it is helpful or in alignment with you are at your core.
again, we don’t know the impact of our actions until we see what happens, so don’t allow thinking to lead to hesitation.
hesitation + thinking are not the same thing, by the way.
hesitation is when fueled by uncertainty.
this is when you stop because you are unsure of where you want to go.
thinking before you proceed is intentionality in action.
though you are not certain how others will react, you are certain in your capabilities + your ability to stand on the decision you’ve made.
intentionality is about certain type of confidence that you have moving forward.
it’s not that you’re guaranteed the results you are looking for, it is that you are certain you are moving in love + with your best intentions, + you are okay with the actions you’re taking.
over the course of the week, consider the consequences of your actions.
though considering the consequences are not a way to shield yourself from the reactions of others, it is a good way to explore your options + make an informed decision.
remember, proactiveness + the intentionality behind your actions isn’t contingent upon how someone else reacts.
acting with proactiveness + intentionality means you’re doing what you do because of you.
you are moving with certainty + confidence because this is what you were gonna do regardless of who sees you.
showing intention means you are taking charge of your own actions, you are accountable for how you behave + you accept full responsibility when it comes to you + what you do.
intentionality requires one to operate from a realm of possibility + to embrace the unknown.
there may be chaos.
your actions may stir up some shit in others that they’ve suppressed for years.
that’s also not your battle to fight.
allow others to take responsibility for themselves.
that’s the biggest gift you can give someone: allowing them to operate within the realm of their own responsibility.
give others the space to handle what they’ve got going on without wanting to solve their problems for them.
help them by holding space + by being a beacon of hope for what can happen when we choose to live with intention + lead with love.
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
this moment can be different.
you can’t erase what’s happened, but you can move forward with a different lease on life.
no use holding onto all that regret.
what’s in the past is in the past.
today can be different for you.
yea, you didn’t think about the shit you did then, but what about now, fam?
what is preventing you from thinking about what you’re doing now?
what is encouraging mindless behavior?
what is holding you back from exploring the consequences before you move?
why is it so hard for you to make an informed decision, to move with certainty, + to give yourself a chance to live in confidence?
pause for a moment.
be very honest with yourself in this moment.
sit in silence + really attune your heart + mind to listen.
be still + meditate on these things.
it’s hard to understand what’s going on when you are in a chaotic state of being.
picture yourself at a concert surrounded by all the noises —
can you really hold a conversation with someone when it’s that loud + with so much going on?
when you take that pause, listen for a small still voice; that gut feeling voice; that deep intimate knowing of what to do next.
+ then, with intention, focus, your best + with love in mind, make your move.
feel the impact + power that you have in that moment when you confidently step up + say:
this is what i choose. regardless of what others choose, this is my choice + i am confident in my ability to make things happen.
regardless of if this is a “good” decision or “bad” decision, it is my decision + my decision is to move forward in this direction.
+ if necessary, i can move + change direction. i am not stuck here.
this is my journey + sometimes journeys require pivoting, moving backward, + propelling forward. but journeys are journeys + this is my journey to have.
i am okay with the direction i’m choosing right now.
can you affirm yourself in this way? think on it.
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i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today + for being present.
thank you for listening, implementing (if you so choose), thank you for being open to dialogue + discussion.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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