listen to episode 69!
in this episode, we are exploring how to show ourselves love while undergoing the many transitions in our lives!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you livin’ today?
how you feelin’ today?
are you ready, today, to take some action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or who have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however small, large, or however you wanna categorize it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
it can be done.
you can very well decide today that you’ve had enough of what you’re experiencing — enough is enough!
you want different so you can choose different + actually follow through with your decision.
whatever you choose to do to help facilitate you in living your life on your own terms must come from an intentional space.
there’s no use doing something simply because everyone else is doing it because it may not be what you want for your life —
what do you want to do, fam?
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today by taking one step at a time.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
speaking of steps, let’s talk about today’s action step:
- this is a suggestion.
- this is encouragement.
- this is not a requirement.
i am putting this out here so that you can hear it + be inspired to do something that is pressing on your heart today.
to do this week:
today’s action is to love yourself through the transition.
you’ve never been here before,
you don’t know what to expect,
+ quite frankly, you don’t know how to behave.
chastising yourself won’t get you far.
in fact, coming for yourself when you simply don’t know what to expect or what to do is a surefire way for you to get into your head, to start second guessing yourself, + questioning what it is that you want.
you deserve grace, fam.
you deserve to give yourself space to figure out what’s happening without judgement.
you deserve to show yourself support + encouragement when difficult times arise.
you deserve to excuse yourself for not knowing while still actively seeking answers + refusing to staying stagnant.
you deserve to live a life that you’ve always wanted to live without judgement, without condemnation, without assigning “right or wrong” to your action.
you deserve to be in a space that you feel safe to do what it is that you most desire, to test out theories, to practice, to try again, to change your mind.
you deserve to explore life fully + completely without feeling like you have to behave a certain way to be who you want to be or to be accepted by others.
you deserve a life where you are fully accepted + fully free; a life that might not look like anyone else’s but it’s yours + you love it.
you deserve to love yourself through the transitions.
whatever transition you are going through, you deserve space to experience it.
we are never the same + nothing ever stays the same, so in that point alone you are constantly in transition.
give yourself the assurance + reassurance that you are doing everything you can + the best that you can to experience the life that you’ve always wanted to live; to be the best person that you know how to be
in the moments when we choose to something for ourselves we are exercising our right + freedom of choice.
we always have that + we are never stuck in a space because of this choice.
in this constant space of transition is the space where you can decide at any time to continue down the path you’re on or to pivot + go a different way.
you always have a choice + you get to show up for yourself in a way today that allows you to love yourself through these choices.
you may not get the outcome you desire, but it’s okay, fam.
love yourself through your choices, through the process of finding out what you want to experience.
take responsibility for where you are + for loving yourself through it.
over the course of the week, continue giving yourself the love that you need.
love looks different moment by moment, so honor the type of love you need now.
show yourself you’re worth:
- words of affirmation
- a loving touch
- complete + total acceptance
by giving yourself these things without exception.
you don’t have to be or present yourself a certain in order to be loved or to show love.
you can love yourself through what you’re going through.
you can show yourself grace now.
you can forgive yourself now.
you can lighten the load off yourself now.
those are acts of love + care.
compassion is an act of love + care.
kindness is an act of love + care.
give that to yourself today.
if not you, then who?
why put that onus on someone else to give you the type of love you not only deserve, but you crave deeply?
why not listen to yourself + determine in the moment what you long for + that you’ll resolve to give to yourself?
do you need rest right now?
show yourself some love with some shut eye,
or by taking yourself on a peaceful walk,
or by journaling a bit to clear your mind,
or by doodling or drawing a picture or design,
or by booking a massage,
or choreographing a staycation — what do you need right now?
do you need physical touch?
two words: skincare routine
take your time massaging lotion or oil into your skin, paying attention to each crevice + each cell, + send extra love + attention to the dry, rough patches. i love going slow to make sure i cover each part of my body, especially in those spaces between my toes + fingers, around my nail beds, behind my ears, the back of my neck into my hairline, + slowly around my eyes. slapping lotion on my body feels like a chore, but giving myself my undivided attention feels divine.
book a full body massage (massages can be useful in multiple ways) — 2 hour me, please! once you go down that road, it’s hard to accept any less time
do your nails or book yourself a nail appointment (don’t forget those toes, too). i prefer naked nails, but love the act of receiving a manicure + pedicure.
pleasure yourself. set the mood, figure out what touches you like + how it makes you feel when you’re touched that way, listen to your body, your rhythm, get out of your head + relax. how can you tell others exactly how you like to be touched or what turns you on when you don’t know?
hug yourself, stretch, do some yoga — give yourself the attention + love you deserve in the physical realm.
do you need to feel wanted?
+ this one can get a little tricky depending on the expectations we have surrounding acts of service because a lot of the time, when we think of acts of service we feel like people need to serve you.
rest assured you can serve yourself —
one of the ways you can love on yourself this way is take yourself out on a date. it can be as fancy or as plain jane as you’d prefer, but the act alone is love inducing. where do you like to go? what do you like to do? what cuisine do you enjoy? your favorite broadway show coming in town? take yourself to see it! i’ve taken myself to many a restaurant, sat at the bar, gotten my own table, doesn’t matter to me. i don’t worry about the optics because two things are gonna be true for me: i’mma eat + enjoy the atmosphere!
another way to feel wanted is to volunteer. with all of these community based organizations looking for volunteers, there’s no shortage of you help you can bring. go out there + provide people with the services you can offer — fold clothes, create signage, serve food, sort + organize items, man a station at a local race or event, become a big brother or big sister, when it comes to serving others the possibilities are endless!
want your own life. create a space for yourself that not only rivals with the treatment you desire, but supersedes anything you can imagine. wash your sheets + towels. replace your toothbrush. cook yourself a nourishing meal. move your body. set money aside for a cause that’s important to you — vacation, retirement, starting your own business, investing in your hobby, etc. fill your car with gas before you’re riding on the fumes of E. organize + declutter your space.
whatever love you feel you need in this moment, give it to yourself before looking for it somewhere else.
chances are you already have the means to deliver whatever it is that you need + can avoid the disappointment that comes with wanting to make others conform to expectations of what love + care look like to us.
my final thoughts:
detach + fully surrender.
whatever you ain’t loving right now, surrender to it.
acceptance is the first step in making the changes you wish to see.
you can’t stand your toenails + you’re finding it hard to love what you see — so do something about it! shape those nails. grab some polish. oil those cuticles. book an appointment.
you ain’t loving how stressed out you feel right now — so do something about it! find ways to decompress: journal, move your body, stretch your body + mind.
you ain’t loving solitude + need connection with others — so do something about it! call your people + if they don’t have the capacity to connect back, go find other people. volunteer. go out for some food + fun. go to your place of worship. got a hobby you enjoy? connect with other hobbyists. a friend was once a stranger, yanno?
accept who you are right now.
this version of you has the courage to step up + say, “this isn’t working for me + i want different“. this version of you is down for the transition, even if you may feel apprehensive about it.
honor that internal passion + seize the opportunity to seek a new path.
in this time of transition, realize that you are giving yourself a different experience in life, one that aligns with who you are at your core.
you are in the midst of giving yourself a different experience in life.
sometimes it’s unintentional the way that we transition.
sometimes we’re so focused on our why that we don’t realize how much we’re changing.
change anyway + love yourself through those changes.
this transition may not be easy, it may be one of the hardest actions you’ve ever taken, + yet you still deserve to see it through to the end.
be kind,
be compassionate,
+ show yourself all the love you deserve + desire in this moment.
if not you, then who?
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additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today + for being present.
thank you for deciding to do everything you’ve wanted to do.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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