welcome to episode 50!
in this episode, we are discussing ways to “push” when life pushes us to the edge!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you feelin‘ today?
how you livin‘ today?
are you ready, today, to take action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however small, big, or however you wanna categorize or label it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
as always:
this is your decision to make.
no one else can make this decision for you.
so that means that today you get to decide what you want to do.
you get to decide how many steps you’ll take or if you want to take a step.
you get to decide how present you want to be + how in tune with your life you want to be.
i am here as a beacon of encouragement.
however, it is up to you to decide what moves you want to make.
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
to do this week:
today’s action is to decide whether it’s worth pushing back or pushing through.
i recently read a quote that stated,
“when life pushes you down, push back!”
i searched to find the author to share with you, but have come to terms that after a million iterations of this same quote, many people say + believe this to be true + it makes sense as to why.
for many of us our first instinct is to get up + push back!
close your eyes + imagine, for a moment, that you are walking, minding your business, + out of no where you get a hard shove.
immediately, you are knocked down to the ground.
you look up + you see a face — may be a face you’ve seen before, may be a total stranger, but you see a face while you’re on the ground.
what do you do?
square up, life! i’m ready to fight back!
for some of us, we wanna fight.
the strength we possess presents as a push back because what we not gone do is give up free licks!
i can see the fighters now:
aight — square up, life, ’cause we bout to go at it! you ain’t gone push me + not expect me to push your ass back!
then, there are those of us who get pushed + you’re gonna know it because we damn sure gone tell you about it.
you know what life just did to me? lemme tell you…
but that’s the extent of what we do.
no further action happens after that.
we tell our side of the story while we’re still down from the push with no attempts to do anything more than lie there indefinitely.
unfortunately, we are still down.
many of us are a mixture of both fighting back + telling others about it.
you gone get the best of both worlds: you gone catch these hands + you gone catch this mouth to go with it!
we not gone let you off the hook — how dare you come up to me + think you’re gonna knock my ass down + think I’m not gonna tell people I beat your ass after I beat your ass (or at least attempt to beat your ass 😅)?
either way we gone scrap.
yet we are ready to fight back with a vengeance + we gone complain about it because who or what attacks someone + expects them to take that shit laying down?
so yea, many of us have both fighting + tongue lashing in us.
then, there is the other one of us.
this person carries a different perspective.
this person understands that life is always working with them. they see life as a trusted teammate that always has the team’s best interest at heart.
yes, this person has feelings, too.
when life does something to hurt them, they speak up + go directly to the source of its pain:
“ouch, i’m feeling hurt right now because of what happened. what’s going on?”
then, they intuitively + attentively listen to life’s response. they don’t assume neither ill intent or good will, rather they listen with an open heart + mind.
“alright, talk to me. I’m listening”
+ because this person trusts life, they don’t ask a ton of questions about “why“.
in fact, they sometimes forgo the question all together.
the why is irrelevant as far as they are concerned.
why?
because this person accepts that an explanation isn’t necessary to continue to pushing through + pressing forward. the circumstances don’t matter enough to stop them for doing what they most desire.
“so you pushed me. i get it… or I might not get it at all, but it doesn’t matter about that — i’ve been pushed.”
instead of seeing the push down from life as an attack on them, this person sees the push down as protection… maybe.
maybe they don’t see it as anything at all — maybe it’s not an attack or protection, maybe it is is what it is.
the thought to push back may cross their mind + may be first instinct because — well, they are human.
after years of fighting back it’s an innate habit (automatic responses that are thoughtless) + thoughtless behavior to react with a push back.
instead of flowing with the program, they’ve decided to switch on a switch. instead of blindly following what they usually do, they find a different way by exploring the possibilities + opportunities out there.
they take the opportunity to think —
“maybe I don’t want to go into attack mode + push back to maybe, I feel divinely protected. thank you for the push, now let’s find a way to push through.”
however they see it, this person is committed to changing their attitude + approach to life.
this person refuses to keep living their life in a constant war zone + have opted to explore a change of scenery.
so instead of pushing back, instead of unleashing their rage while giving life a piece of their mind, they opt to thank life for the protection + push through.
they accept that push downs happen + decide to move forward from them.
they release any resentment they may have initially felt because they understand feelings are two things: fleeting + feedback, so they use their feelings are fuel, as energy, to push through + to move forward.
this person is more concerned with moving forward than they are with reducing the interactions they have with life to attacks.
it’s much more complex than that while at the same time it’s very simple: life pushed them down.
they see the balance — both the good + the bad of the situation, + they accept that they both are present + can be true at the same time, determine that neither will stop them + resolve to keep pushing through.
consider an alternative
when life pushes you down + you’re tempted to push back, consider there are other ways to move.
there are possibilities + opportunities that you have yet to explore + are awaiting your exploration.
if you are tired of getting the same results, especially if you are tired of getting the same results, open yourself up to different.
over the course of the week, determine who you want to show up as.
you got pushed down — so what? what now?
are you a fighter?
are you a complainer?
are you both?
are you divinely protected?
are you courageous?
are you tenacious?
are you in full on attack mode?
are you down for the tit for tat?
are you asking questions?
are you letting go + flowing?
are you pushing back?
are you pushing through?
are you down for the count?
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
an inspiration to us all.
remember that “other” person we discussed earlier in the episode?
well, there is one attribute about that person that i waited to mention until now:
this person is an inspiration.
they offer + honor other perspectives because they understand others, like they may have been once upon a time, see life differently. it isn’t their place to judge, only to provide perspective to those who are open to another way of interacting with life.
they don’t get offended when people don’t want to take what they say as face value because they understand that people have their own lives to life; their own journey’s to walk; their own paths to forge.
there is no right or wrong way to approach life.
there is one way + then there is another, + another, + another…
as you accept your way of life, accept, too, that there are many others out there from which we can all choose.
if someone wants to spend their time fighting, cool.
if someone wants to spend their time complaining, cool.
if someone wants to spend their time + energy focusing on challenge rather than the circumstance, cool.
this isn’t up for debate
how others feel + think about life isn’t up for communal discussion.
what are you doing?
how do you view life?
what approaches are you taking?
who cares if they chose another way? you cannot control their choices.
you can choose for yourself, though.
you can choose how you show up today.
you can choose your perspective.
you can choose, with all intentionality, where your energy, your time, + your focus goes today.
when life pushes you down, you get to choose how you want to respond.
you already know you can push back…
now, are you down to explore + accept that other possibilities + opportunities exist?
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i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today + for being present.
thank you for listening, implementing (if you so choose), thank you for being open to dialogue + discussion.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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