listen to episode 58!
in this episode, we are treating ourselves as if we are the most important person in the world while also recognizing the importance of us all!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you livin’ today?
how you feelin’ today?
are you ready, today, to take some action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or who have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however small, big, or however you wanna categorize it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
life begins now.
you’ve been living, but have you been livin’ living?
there’s a difference + the difference lies in your intentions; in your “why“.
why do you do the things that you do daily?
do you know?
are you programmed to do them?
have you always done it this way?
are you actually doing things from a place of intentionality?
though we may act like it, we aren’t robots programmed to act a certain way.
we have the power to break through the indoctrination, to break through the programs our system is currently running, + we can choose a different for ourselves.
gone can be the days where you match energy because a meme told you that’s the best approach.
poof are the days where debates about other peoples opinions rule your time + energy.
goodbye + so long to all the times you’ve condemned someone for living in a manner that doesn’t align with who you want them to be.
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today one step at a time.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
speaking of steps, let’s talk about today’s action step:
- this is a suggestion.
- this is encouragement.
- this is not a requirement.
i am putting this out here so that you can hear it + be inspired to do something that is pressing on your heart today.
to do this week:
today’s action is to treat yourself as if you’re the most important person in the world right now.
that doesn’t necessarily mean you put yourself on a pedestal, it means you take care of yourself.
at the same time, treat others with the same reverence.
two things can be true at once:
- you are absolutely so, so, so important!
- others are just as important as you.
think of yourself as a mirror + everyone you see + interact with is a reflection of who you are in the moment.
we’re seeing this projections of people we interact with + all they are are mirrors of who we are.
how we decide to engage with them is a reflection of who we are + has absolutely nothing to do with them + has everything to do with who we are.
as with others, there are times when you don’t like the way you’re acting in the moment —
+ when you don’t like the way you’re acting, what do you?
- do you meet yourself with rage?
- do you tell yourself “you better treat me with respect or else!“
- do you say “i’m not the one to play with” when you do something to yourself that you don’t like?
- do you pause + recalibrate?
- “you know what, before i continue to act, i need to think about what I’m doing next“.
- do you offer kind + encouraging words?
- “we can do this differently this time. let’s try this again.“
with much candor, observe how you treat yourself in times of conflict, in times of confusion, in times of disappointment, + in times of frustration.
are you truly willing to treat the most important person in your life in this manner?
however you’re treating yourself: is that how you really treat the top dawg in your life?
how does it feel knowing that the most important person in your life is talked down to, is barked at for making mistakes, + isn’t given the benefit of the doubt?
when you’re coming at yourself sideways, how does it feel to know that the most important person in your life is taking on that type of abuse?
how does it feel hearing how crass one can be with the vip?
how dare you talk to the most important person in your life that way? how? how does it feel knowing that came from your mouth?
how does it feel knowing that you, the truest friend you can have in a person, won’t even be honest with yourself, won’t acknowledge your own feelings, nor are you willing to take a chance on living a full + free life?
how does it feel to know that you are complete control of propelling yourself forward, but you choose to remain stuck? that has to be a horrible feeling + I believe we have all felt that before. feeling stuck, feeling like we can’t move forward, feeling like there is no other place to go. not having those honest conversations with ourselves. when we are emotionally + morally conflicted, we’d rather brush it off than be honest with ourselves.
instead of attacking the problem, we attack the person.
you should know better than that!
but really there’s an underlying issue, right?
so, that energy we have toward condemning someone could be the same energy we can use in correcting + addressing the issue.
how we treat ourselves is to serve as the blueprint of how we treat others.
that’s not to say that we do that all the time or are doing that now.
we sometimes pour into ourselves more than others + pour into others more than we do ourselves.
in those time where we feel like + see that we are giving others way more than what you are giving the most important in your life,
use it as a starting point where we can start pouring into ourselves, loving ourselves deeply, + giving ourselves more of what we need.
if we, through our interactions with ourselves today, find that we are our biggest blockers + haters, today we have the opportunity to change that.
let’s start making changes in how we treat ourselves first.
so we focus on the more important person in our lives right now + that us.
we change how we treat ourselves + in turn, we can change how we treat others.
over the course of the week, continue acting in a mutually beneficial way that not only empowers you, but also acknowledges the importance of everyone you encounter.
consider adopting this mantra:
whatever i am willing to do to + for me is what i am willing to do to + for others.
notice that the mantra leads with doing for yourself first.
take care of you first.
deal with your feelings first.
check your attitude first.
deal with your shit first.
what we may find when we take the time to tend to our own lives is that there is very little time to worry or concern ourselves with the lives of others.
we may become more open to the concept of “you do you” when it comes to that person choosing how they want to live their lives because who has time to micromanage someone else when we have so much we can work on within ourselves?
other actions we can take that perfectly encapsulate “i’m important + so are you“:
the space we give ourselves to live our life on our own terms is the same space we give others.
even when we don’t agree with what others are doing, we can agree that it is their life + they can do what they want.
the patience + grace we have with others when they flub + mess up is the samepatience + grace we have with ourselves in similar circumstances.
that same grace you give, you can give it to yourself. that same patience you give, you can give it to yourself.
the opinions + ideas we’re free to have + express may not be the same opinions + ideas others have, yet they also have the right to express theirs freely, too.
so again:
whatever i am willing to do to + for me is what i am willing to do to + for others.
we in business now!
when you are in the business of building yourself up, you are by default in the business of building others, too.
it doesn’t take much action on your part besides your active commitment in being the person you’ve always wanted to be.
that means you are acting solely as the person in whom you most desire to be or to become.
maybe that person is:
- a person of integrity
- a person who cares + loves freely
- a person who shows compassion
- a person who is patient
- a person who listens to understand
- a person who is committed to the liberation of themselves + others
whoever this person is, be that person.
be that person.
my final thoughts:
i have a challenge for us today (i say us because i’m in the trenches of life with you + am not exempt from any of this):
our challenge today is to give ourselves what we need + when others need that same thing, willingly give it to them just as freely; no holds barred + no questions asked.
let’s make life less transactional + less about reciprocity + see ourselves + others as people who are doing their absolute best right now.
we may not have all the answers, but we have each other.
we don’t need all of the answers when we have each other!
why do i need to have all the answers when there is someone elsewhere who has the answer that I’m looking for + i can interact with them, connect with them, get the network of all of whom have poured into them?
we are both willing + open to freely give each other what we need.
every day, i make a commitment to extend what i have to others, not the tangibles, but the intangibles.
i have so much love inside + i give it freely to myself + others.
when i’m acting unkind, i check myself. i extend apologies to others who i may have harmed + forgive myself for acting in that manner.
i also acknowledge that when others are unkind + extend apologies, i am open to accepting it. that doesn’t mean I have fully recovered from the harm, it means i’m open to forgiveness. forgiveness is not for them, it’s for me.
i listen. i sometimes joke that people are willing to share their life stories with me + i find comfort in knowing that people feel safe opening up to me in that way.
i imagine myself in that position of talking to someone being heard + understood. it feels good. it’s not about internalizing what they say, it’s about holding space.
lastly, i treat myself with as the most important person that i know + extend that same offering to others.
if you’re open to this, consider using this approach to help you with dealing with internal biases you may have about who you are in comparison to others:
assign everyone you meet a vip title.
you can do this in jest or in your mind.
when you see someone + you start comparing yourself, thinking that you’re better or that they are better than you, give them + yourself a vip title.
this doesn’t mean they are entitled to your personal time, energy, or focus, it means that you see them + recognize them as the celebrity they are.
do i engage with every celebrity i see? absolutely not. 😂
however, i understand others care about them + i can respect that.
you might not like the celebrity, but someone does, somebody cares about them + they are vip in someone’s life — yes, they are “that person” even if it’s only in their lives.
if it’s in my heart at the time, i like to throw out compliments + give people their flowers while they are still living.
it could be the smallest things that i notice about a person, but i see them + every body doesn’t feel seen.
how beautiful is to see people for who they are?
with every interaction, i remind myself it costs us nothing to spread love + kindness today.
who is gonna do it if i don’t?
if i’m not the one spreading kindness, who else is gonna do it?
the expectation doesn’t have to fall on anyone else because i am fully capable of doing that, so why not me?
we have to be the change we wish to see.
the expectation doesn’t have to fall on anyone else to be that change because we are fully capable of being that change.
today, give yourself your best.
you are the most important person in your life, you deserve your life.
give your best to others.
others are important, too + we all deserve the best version of you that you can give.
so be your best self.
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additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for showing up today + for being present.
thank you for listening, for learn, for engaging with this podcast today.
i hope that you’re able to take away from this something you can do that can bless you + others this week.
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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