thanks for tuning into episode 13!
in this episode, we are exploring how to overcome what may be holding us back from beginning again.
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
thank you for being here today, thank you for showing up!
i really appreciate it!
are you ready to take action today? are you up for the challenge?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every episode you are challenged, encouraged, + inspired to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
you are taking one small step today that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
do i have to take action, P?
whether you choose to take action today or not is your decision; it’s your call.
you can determine the course of action you take today + no course of action is still an action should you choose that option.
you’re already knowingly or unknowingly choosing how you want to live your life + it’s on your own terms.
it’s always your choice around here.
now, for those who are ready to change your life for yourself, to do something you’ve never done before, to take charge of your life + live it to its fullest, to see your failures as successes —
i encourage you to take some type of action today!
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that today.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
and just like that, we are back!
last week’s break was intentional because i wanted to show you that rest is important.
we don’t have to constantly be on the go, that’s not synonymous with consistency.
consistency is about showing up, period. the activity may start + stop (rest breaks included), but it’s steadfast.
constantlyyyyy *snaps fingers + stares in immature/IMX* is about showing up without breaks, the quality may waver but you still there.
… yea, i need my rest to give my best.
i also wanted to illustrate to you that regardless of what you have going on, you can start again.
maybe you’ve been consistent for a long time + stopped for no “real reason”… it just happened.
it can feel like that sometimes.
or maybe you were so consumed with life in the moment that you put what you’ve been showing up for daily + on a consistent basis on the back burner.
“just this one time”, you said before you stopped.
now it’s 3 months in + you still haven’t revisited the thought or taken another step in the direction of where you were once going.
here’s your chance to begin again.
it’s always okay to change your mind + decide you want something different.
it’s also okay to revisit your initial + sometimes abandoned plans.
here’s your chance to begin again.
here’s your opportunity to release the shame, the guilt, + the regret of taking a break + humbly accept the challenge to start over.
no matter how long your hiatus has been or how much of a break that was taken, you can start over.
real talk, starting over is a daily action we can choose to take.
it’s not even a daily action, it’s a moment-by-moment choice.
we can choose, at any moment, to start over.
there is nothing set in stone saying we have to start over at a certain time.
we can choose to start over whenever we want.
we must also understand that life is cyclical + personally, i haven’t seen anything designed by God that operates at full capacity all of the time.
a good example of this is a garden.
there is a time for planting + there is a time for harvesting. then there is a time when it seems that nothing is happening at all. we may think there is no work going on because we see no fruit, but that doesn’t mean things are not moving + shaking as they should. preparation tends to happen in the shadows, underground, + out of sight.
what about our daily habits?
daily habits are things we do every single day.
if something needs to be done, why can’t we form the habit of doing what needs to be done?
i wanna talk to you about habits for a second:
i’d like to offer a challenging perspective about habits: habits can sometimes be seen as mindless actions we move through.
they require little to no thought to perform + execute, + can be very robotic in nature. we talk about being present + in the moment, + habits do not encourage this practice.
habits lack mindfulness.
how do you change a habit?
when you think about how to go about changing a habit you have, you have to first bring your awareness to the habit you want to change.
why do we have to bring awareness to the habit?
we bring awareness because we’re not thinking about what we are doing + why we are doing it, we are simply doing it out of habit; it’s very robotic.
so in turn, we have to bring mindfulness into the equation in order to course correct the action.
simply put: we correct habits with mindfulness.
this isn’t to say that habits are good or bad. i’m not judging them or putting a label on them.
this is simply acknowledging them for what they are.
do habits work in your life? quite possibly!
we all have habits.
i would like to say that habits have helped transform my life in ways that i didn’t really think about while indulging in them.
there are some habits that i have today that i’m not fully aware/mindful of that i do.
but when i bring in that mindfulness? bay-bee! ain’t no stoppin’ me!
because then i’ll know what i’m doing + why i’m doing it + i can course correct as necessary.
it’s the accountability for me!
ditching unpleasant habits that leave us feeling a way about ourselves + others
instead of creating + perpetuating an unpleasant habit, we can choose to do what we feel is best for us in that moment sans an emotionally charged reaction.
examples of these unpleasant habits we’re talking about here:
- talking down to ourselves with negative self talk
- talking ourselves out of performing actions that we know will help/benefit us due to fear, shame, or regret of it all
we don’t have to feel a way about doing what we do. feel a way refers to having negative emotions tied to the experience.
some examples of this are:
- it’s okay to apologize without feeling a way about it.
- ex: i shouldn’t have to apologize, i hate apologizing, etc.
- it’s okay to be “the bigger person” without feelings a way about it.
- ex: why do i have to forgive? it’s annoying that i have to settle with this person, etc.
- it’s okay to admit that you ain’t got it today without feeling shame + regret that you ain’t got your shit together
- ex. wanting to appear perfect, talking down about others + their experiences as if you’re better when in actuality you are also struggling, etc.
- there are no perfect people on this earth, so it costs you nothing to admit we all can improve.
- it’s okay to not be emotionally charged by other people’s reactions/your own reactions
- ex. stating your opinion + others react in a way that may cause you to get defensive (allowing others to feel how they feel without feeling the need to match their energy), squaring up with yourself after having a knee jerk reaction to something initially vs. how you may feel about it now (give yourself grace instead of condemnation), etc.
our emotions can keep us from doing what is best in the moment, so it’s important that we check them every chance we get.
so, no more automatic responses!
we are thinking about what we are doing + we are reminding ourselves why we are doing it.
we are moving with intention in every step.
we are also accepting life for what it is, releasing our past experiences, + moving on without fear, without regret, without guilt, without shame, + without other stipulations we put on ourselves.
we are no longer being hard on ourselves for wanting to start over!
start over — it’s okay!
to do this week:
girl, if you don’t start ‘cho ass ova…
today’s action is to start.
restart.
begin again.
maybe you’ve never done it a day in your life + you feel like it’s gonna be the hardest fuckin’ thing you ever did: start.
i don’t care if it’s been a day, a year, or 10 years — start over.
the only opinion that holds weight about starting fresh is yours + you deserve to treat yourself kindly during this process.
no more coming for yourself for stopping + starting.
no more expectation linked to perfectionism.
everyone + everything starts + stops. it doesn’t rain forever, nor does the sun constantly shine. to everything there is a season + purpose.
your new season begins now.
over the course of the week, give yourself grace as during your start up process.
you are still learning the mechanics + movements.
you are uncovering truths + taking in new information about the topic + about yourself.
give yourself grace + space.
those are two kind offerings that you can give yourself as you transition into this new role; as you transition into this new lifestyle.
you don’t have to put yourself through any additional suffering by being unkind to yourself. life has plenty of that to go around.
don’t make yourself a passenger on the struggle bus — give yourself some grace.
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
make a conscious choice today to begin again.
you are ready to live life on your own terms + have already been doing it since day one: why not do it mindfully?
no one is making the rules for your life but you.
you determine what you will + will not do.
you are the deciding factor in whether you will live a full + rich life.
you hold the power to connect with yourself on a deeper level, understanding your why + moving with intention + ease.
you can give yourself the gift of letting go + moving forward.
life is about starting over. every day you are making a choice to do what you did the day before, tweak what you did before to fit who you are today, or you can choose to completely + unapologetically do something new.
accept life for what it is, surrender to life, accept where you are right now, accept the season you are in right now, + keep going.
your new season begins now.
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i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for taking the time today to assess where you are, what you’re doing, + why you’re doing it.
thank you for showing up today + most importantly, thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
cop dope merch: deardopechick.com