what if i told you that people aren’t getting on our nerves like we say they are.
that it’s us, not them.
that fly that keeps buzzing around our heads,
the kid that keeps singing + talking,
the co-worker or friend that chews with their mouth open –as annoying as these actions may present themselves to us, it’s still not them that’s causing the annoyance.
how they hell is it us, P? 🧐
it’s our responsibility to choose how we respond to our environments.
there’s no doubt that these situations can be overwhelming at times, but we have to ask ourselves why we are triggered by them.
why does this action annoy me?
what am i hoping to see instead?
is what i expect to see in alignment with natural law? is everyone suppose to act the same?
flies fly.
kids sing + dance.
some people chew loud (cringing while i type this, smiling while bearing the discomfort 😬).
+ that’s them.
what’s you is your response.
what will my response be to all of that?
do i remove myself from the situation? if yes, where can i go to get the solace i seek?
am i tired? hungry? what do i need right now?
do i swat the fly for being a fly? of course… not. 🥴
do i honor that kids are being kids + tune them out instead of asking them to change?
is this a deal-breaker, meaning i can’t be friends with or break bread with people who chew with their mouths open?
do i communicate with them the feelings that arise when those actions are in play so we can continue connecting?
do i tone them down to my liking so their actions, their presence, is more digestible for me? (i.e. telling the kids to sit down + be quiet, etc.)
compassion + grace go a long way, fam.
it’s a lot to consider when approaching someone on something that you find annoying that they have complete control over.
remind yourself: it’s me, not them.
woosah, shake it out, close your eyes + breathe.
then, dig deep + explore why you’re experiencing them this way.
when you talk about it with them (if that’s what you choose), lead with that:
ex: i’m feeling ____(overstimulated) right now because i’m ______ (tired). i’m ______ (taking 5 minutes in the other room + setting the timer to not be disturbed).
remember: they are responsible for their actions + you are responsible for your response.
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
journal prompt(s) for today:
ultimately, the goal is connection: what can you do to better connect with someone/something that’s brings up ill feelings in you?
how can you respond to others when your mood isn’t congruent with their actions?