how do you typically respond to someone raising their voice at you?
do you totally ignore them until their tone changes?
do you ask them to lower/watch their tone when they are speaking to you?
do you tell them they aren’t entitled to what they want until they speak to you nicely?
today, hear beyond the tone.
people have been using tonation since the beginning of time to mask + communicate hurt, pain, disappointment, + the trauma they have experienced throughout their lives.
instead of seeing their tone as an attack, see it for what it is:
an essential element of communication; a form of expression.
when expressing hurt, it can manifest as abrasiveness + unpleasantness, crying + whining.
though communicating that way may feel like a personal attack, how others choose to communicate has nothing to do who we are + has everything to do with what that person is going through on a personal level.
plain + simple: people are hurting.
today, do your best to hear the issue(s) that arise + address them before addressing the tone.
it can be as a simple as, “i hear you want/need/desire xyz, am i hearing that correctly?“
don’t mistake this approach as a way to excuse behaviors, rather see this as an invitation to connect on a deeper level.
once the issue has been confirmed + a resolution is underway, feel free to address how you’d like to be addressed moving forward while keeping in mind that tone is so subjective + one person’s perspective on tone can vary greatly from another.
if you’re willing, talk through it, fam.
who knows? by the end of the conversation, you may choose to see that person in a different light after you open your heart to learn about + see things from their perspective.
+ then again, you may decide to distance yourself from future interactions.
in any case, remember who you are at your core during any energy exchange you have today + going forward.
remind yourself that you possess the power to create + live a life that reflects who you are at your core + that no one, but you, can control what you do.
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
journal prompt(s) for today:
when connecting with others, are you looking to receive something from them in exchange for your patience, time, + energy? i.e. they are expected to respect you or else, they are expected to do as you say/take your advice or else, etc.
if so, what are you hoping to gain from the exchange?
if not, what steps did you take/realizations did you have to get you to this mindset?