lock into episode 46!
in this episode, we aren’t relying solely on external motivation + activating our willpower to push through our circumstances!
take a listen below!
show notes for the podcast episode
below are the show notes (supplemental reading) for this episode!
use them to take notes, complete the exercises, and take action this week —
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dear dope chick,
welcome + welcome back!
how you feelin‘ today?
how you livin‘ today?
are you ready, today, to take action?
what you’ll need:
for those who are new here, who haven’t been here in quite a while, or have been rockin’ with me since day one —
dear dope chick™ is an action based podcast so that means that every single episode you are challenged to take one step that aligns with living life on your own terms.
that means you’re taking one step today, however you wanna categorize or label it, that aligns with the lifestyle that you most desire.
it always has been + will continue to be up to you.
your life decisions fall upon you.
what is it that you want to do?
I can encourage you all day, but if you don’t wanna do it you won’t do it.
so what do you want to do?
you owe it to yourself to steer your life in the direction that you’ve always wanted to go + you can do that for yourself today.
it takes one step + that one step can happen right now.
let’s get to work!
so, grab a notebook or journal that is dedicated to this podcast so that you can participate in the activities and exercises discussed; to see how much you have grown over the course of your life.
have you heard our previous episodes?
not yet ready do the activities presented in this episode?
we have others that may interest you so if you aren’t familiar or haven’t heard our previous episodes, take a listen so that you can make an informed choice today.
you can listen to them here.
to do this week:
today’s action is to initiate your willpower.
you don’t want to do it, but it needs to be done.
what do you do, fam?
I’ll read some inspirational quotes, a scripture, watch a video or listen to a podcast —
those are cool.
motivation works, but it’s not an universal answer to your problem.
you’re looking for external forces + others to move you into action.
people love to use lack of motivation as an excuse for not making a choice or for taking action, but motivation is not completely necessary to have in order to get what you want.
motivation gets you hype + ready to move, but for some, that can be where it starts + stops.
we’ve all had those moments where we use something to get us hype about a situation + still find ourselves not wanting to go (getting ready to a playlist for a party you didn’t wanna go to in the first place may not put you in the mood for that party no matter how hype it is).
the motion forward is still up to you, the individual facing the dilemma, challenge, or situation.
you still have to decide to take that step or not.
you still have to decide whether or not you are up for the challenge today or you want to sit back + do nothing.
you still have to decide whether you’re content with staying in the same cycle or if you’re ready to break free.
external motivation is a tool in the toolbox, but it doesn’t have a one size fits all.
so if you aren’t feeling motivated to get something done, it’s okay.
the lack of motivation is feedback + is alerting you as to where your mindset is right now —
what do i need? what am i looking for?
that question is always hard to answer when we don’t know what it is that we want.
well, what do you want + why do you want it?
get clear on what you want.
motivation works better when we are clear on what we want to see.
this is why visualization is important. (check out episode 1 for more on this technique)
seeing yourself in a situation makes it real.
whether formally or not, you’ve used visualization before.
when you think of worse case scenarios, you are using visualization.
when you can picture yourself in tough situations breaking through, you are using visualization.
when you can see yourself wearing that dress or acting out a scene of your future plans, you are using visualization.
the key to visualization is focusing on exactly what you want, seeing yourself role play in the scenario until it’s concretely pronounced in your mind, + then releasing it with the belief that it will come to pass.
you don’t need that visual anymore because it’s solidified in your mind; it’s etched in your memory + because you can see it happening, so long as you persist in the will of making it happen, it will.
jumpstarting your willpower is the key.
yes, visualization sounds a lot like motivation in this instance because it is, in this case, a form of internal motivation.
all that means is that your motivation comes from within.
there is something else that aligns with this practice that we can all use to get what we want + that’s our willpower.
like internal motivation, your willpower comes from within.
this is why motivation as a whole doesn’t always work because outside influences may or may not have an effect on how we choose operate.
can’t really rely on the external motivation because it may not motivate you the way we think it will.
encouraging words are encouraging to some, but everyone may not receive that message.
i preach “circumstances don’t matter” + that’s because if imma do it, imma do it. if not, i’m not. period. my preference is not to be swayed by external forces, especially those i cannot control.
so instead of looking at what’s in front of me + operating with a reactive energy, my preference is to take a more proactive approach by evoking + initiating my willpower.
that way, i take full responsibility + accountability for my life.
blaming external circumstances is way too easy —
- i quit because they never showed appreciation for what I was doing
- i stopped posting because i wasn’t get the social media likes
- i don’t incorporate movement into my lifestyle anymore because I didn’t see the results quick enough + no one complimented me on my progress
while outside validation is cool + encouragement may be top tier, it isn’t vital to the process.
once we can detach ourselves from the opinions of others, then we can see life differently.
it becomes more full, more real, because we see our genuine interests vs. performative efforts.
this is why it’s important to be clear on your why —
- why do I do the work that i do? am I doing it for them or am I doing it because it’s purposeful work?
- why do i post on social media? am I posting for the likes? am I posting to market what I have? just because they aren’t liking doesn’t mean they aren’t seeing it. is the message larger than me? is it bigger than me?
- why am i moving my body? what are the benefits that we can’t see that is my why?
over the course of the week, get clear on your why by being mindful of your intentions.
move with purpose on purpose.
mindfulness + willpower go hand in hand.
when we move mindfully, we understand what needs to be done + what we are willing to do to get it done.
our willpower is contingent upon how mindful you are of our time, our energy, our focus, + our desires.
- without denoting where our time goes,
- without awareness of where we’re exerting our energy,
- without designating a place for our focus to lock into,
- without understanding our true desires,
without mindfulness, our willpower crumbles.
additionally, keep reciting those affirmations!
for 21 days straight we are reciting previously written affirmations.
continue reciting your affirmations this week.
check out the previous episode if you have not to get a jumpstart on this action step.
affirmation cards are here!
dear dope chick™ has affirmation + encouragement cards readily available on deardopechick.com. head on over + purchase a deck to have those cards on deck while you journey!
cop a deck of encouragement + affirmation cards
these pocket sized affirmation cards are perfect for every day + on-the-go encouragement! shop our decks here.
my final thoughts:
lock in on your why.
what you gonna do when they call your shit corny?
are you going to listen to them + stop what you’re doing even though you know deep down inside this is purposeful work?
you have to decide who you will listen to, fam.
do you trust yourself?
are you willing to give yourself a shot?
hell, you have so many dope ass ideas —
are you willing to listen to what you’ve got to say + follow through on them to see where they lead you?
bet on yourself.
one of the reasons you won’t + don’t trust yourself is because the decisions you’ve made in the past have led you to some undesirable outcomes.
times have changed.
you’ve changed.
can you credit your growth enough to go for it again? to start over?
a fast food joint has gotten your order wrong before + you’ve still gone back to them to get another meal.
a person may have wronged you before + you’ve extended an olive branch to them. you have not cut off every single person or have forgiven them at least one time — y’all may even be friends again.
so why can’t you give everyone else another chance, but not give yourself a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. chance?
you deserve grace + patience.
part of initiating + exercising your willpower is practicing patience with yourself.
life happens in time; it unfolds in time.
everything doesn’t happen up front.
you have experiences to go through first before you get to where you want to be.
you have decisions to make,
people to see,
places to go,
words to speak —
trust the process.
give yourself space to process what’s happening, to investigate, to ask questions, + confidently move as if this is exactly how it’s suppose to happen.
you won’t always get a cheerleading crowd, you may have the tomato throwing crowd, but that doesn’t mean you are doing anything right or wrong.
it means you are doing something.
keep your why close to your heart + keep your spirits high by giving yourself purposeful pauses (episode 24) + ample rest (episode 10).
this is challenging work, fam, designed to stretch you beyond your own limiting beliefs + to expose you to everything God has promised you.
you can do it.
you were made for this.
trust your progress + journey in grace.
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i appreciate you taking the time to read + listen!
thank you for show up today, for being here today.
thank you for taking it all in.
thank you for listening,
for learning,
for exploring,
+ most importantly, i thank you for being you.
i’ll see you on the next episode. 👋🏾
be you, be dope!
Phylicia Sadsarin
Mindset Coach
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